Monday, August 01, 2005
 | Strapped with protection or strapped with disease, i heart mini thins! So here we go we are on a road trip Cindy and I on our way to Fla. from good ole' Clarksvegas TN. we have our googles, cowboy hats, and cheap Busch beer, except Cindy had to have cheerleader beer. With the Playboy magazines flappin in the back window of her Zoom-Zoom car we are in Alabama where those fuckers have no idea how to drive blastin' the song from the Soprano's (cause i think my familia is mafia!) "so you got yourself a gun" yes and i'm gonna shoot all these non-drivin' mother fuckers. next stop the hoe train and me and amanda are the fuckin conductors. so what i liked to have a lil' sex-doesn't everyone? it was all in fun and games and no heart breaks. 99 bananas and the pants come down. Pissin' on your landlord's caddie gets you in big trouble. X makes you sexie plexie. you've not been to a country party until someone gets "antiqued" or mud-wrastlin' works too. someone always gets hurts at the naked jello slide. these boobs were made for bribin'. Let's get some things strait no stirrin' the chocolate milk and don't go knockin' on my back door. Kaka is crrrrazy and not to mention he EATS PEOPLE! for dinner not for pleasure. washin' muddy hummers and tanks in black bikinis makes the boys smile even gay ones. my skydivin' partner molested me in mid-air! drunk divin' in the crick is never a good idea plus there could be leeches. a cigarettee rests between her lips but i'm starrin' at her tits i always go the wrong way. child birth is not easy. i heart footlose. i heart wet t-shirts. my broken heart makes me smile. while living on Madison St. in C-ville Tn with manders and cici. i screamed out our window for these const. workers to come make us panackes and on there lunch break they did and i looked good in the tool belt--best damn panacakes evea! someone in Kansas City fucking hates me. Polocks and tequila don't mix....i know from first hand experience. yeah i did drugs who cares it was only recreational...i rarely abused them :) i always ended up with the golden goose except for i got beat once....cindy did it in the church parking lot...but i did it in the little theater at school that should count for something. wet and wild i can't think of any better "w" words...let me know if you think of better ones. i study p. i. m. p. ology be learnin dez hoes biology, obvisiouly well do ya wanna ride in the back seat of caddy chop it do or die. i got off from Top Gun and the Tool cd--this girl's best friends! The only hell my mama raised was ME. i heart cigars. dancing makes me smile so big that the corners of my mouth start to hurt and sometimes rip a lil. i'm a big fan of the beer bong. ooops i did it again. i think that stripper really likes me! For real my bubby shot me in the back of the thigh with a pellet gun that he pumped 1,007 times and the bullet was so deep in my leg we had to dig it out with a butter knife- i punched him in his glasses and I got in TROUBLE for breaking his glasses...hello mom your son just SHOT your daughter....and that's ok at my house. i eat Ranch dressing on everything. if you can't tell i have ADHD and that is where this whole story has come from. i just clocked my mind going 73 mph and very random...it's ok i like it's, it's good. i hit a train- true story. i fell off the hood of a car as we were makin' a turn at about 35mph and busted my head open...first time i had stitches and a staple. i always wanted stitches and to break my arm just so i could beat my Bubby with the cast. in 7th grade a bunch of us were walking home and we were walking through this huge field and we flicked our cigarette and the next thing we know the whole field is on fire huge fire not some lil pussy bon-fire...the cops escorted us home and i lied and said that i lived at some other house and that my parents weren't home...thought i was slick but the other parents called my mom and told her...Damnit caught again. That's why all my dad's buddy's nick named me Slick. This IS my job. guns don't kill people, people with mustaches kill people. Bling Bling had here clit pierced- i watched- it hurt! Amanda has the best smile and crocked pinkies. She can drink more liquior and beer than ANYONE i know...she is the true Frank the Tank! Cindy is our librian...she was the voice of reason--sometimes. it was our mission to get her drunk dry hump her and then go dance. I made up a holiday for everday in May and there was Happy Slap dat ass day and Happy Dry Hump day...my two favorites. you could wet hump later but ya had to dry hump first...i guess that's usually how it starts out anyways. ummm grinding on it with your jeans on kissing so hard that you lips are numb and bright red...i lovvvahhh it! i'm not the only one over sexed Ashalee admited she is as well. amber is the color of my energy. speaking of Hambone let me tell ya a lil' story about us. it started i was a junior she was a in 10th grade ( i can't spell sophmore?) i would always crawl outta the class room and go smoke cigarettes in the girl's room. well got caught one day and the teacher for typing class...who really needs that class anyways you learn your home keys and then your good, we don't need a whole fuckin semester to see who can type jkl; fdsa the fastest- get real Ms. Gibson she smelled like Sommer Sausage. so i'm so losing myself here...anywho Ashalee was my escort who would have to walk me to the bathroom or to go take other test in other classes. i would always talk her into doin' somethin though :) now her and my bubby fell in love they're senior year and are now married. we still party it up! that's where the fun bathroom pictures are from. Fuck that shell gas station though they were blow pop nazi's--noooo blow pops! crazy slap nuts. i didn't know she had that GI Joe Kung-fu grip! mom you're just jealous it's the Beastie Boys. i like big trucks whommp whoamp! i love Jeeps...hollar. Wade walked out one night after porkin' some nasty hoe and i'm not the hater type...this bitch was the funk, anyways there is 5 of us just drinkin' in the living room and he walks out with his weiner all out and is hairy, sweaty, and bright red and his shit is all pointin' to the left, he said he had his blinker on...funny shit..gross but funny. you can't offend me! my goal is to make tons of different friends in different places and go visit them. i wish we could still hitch hike. i used to piss in the sink or the bathtub at people's houses that didn't like me. i love the jailhouse song on this cd. i wish i was never hungry. like my uncle says why do we complain about gas prices but we buy a bottle of water for $1.19 when we can get it for free. some people never learn--i think i fall in that catagory. if you read this please leave a comment even if it's "wow" or "you're crazy" i just wanna know i don't care but i just wanna know. if i had a wish i would be a guy for a day...a sexy one and i would bone 47 girls (cause that's my luck number)...all different and then i could honetly know who did it better-brunettes, red-heads, blondes, asians, blacks, punks, preppy ones, rich girls, fat chicks, skinny ones, homeless girls, business girls, 40yr. olds, married ladies, virgins, and even lesbians...just cause i would be a girl in a guy's body the lesbians would still like me. i would wanna grab my nuts in public and be in the army or some type military. i would get dirty walk around with my shirt off and hat backwards. i would wear my pants low enough so you could see those sexy guy muscles that lead to the package. i would dye my happy trail hot pink. i would slap some asses, have a happy sock, fuck a apple pie-just to see, t-bag some people, donkey punch the red head, chili dog the fat chick, and bust it all over the brunettes face- cause i'm not sure what the big deal with that is but guys love to do it. i would play tackle football and know what it's like to hang with the guys...as a guy! so war in apartment cat and Jim blows goats-really. it's fun to do the robot to the 80's tune you can dance if ya wanna in kevalar. *SNAPS* cindy,amanda and i were ROMAHOES-sorry the first step to recovery is admitting it! technically i'm still one cause i married one:) my favorite wet dream in me sitting in this palce filled with people and i'm sittin on the tall bar stools that has the butt imprint shaped into the wood and i just start grinding to the music...it was sooo sexy. me and ash then tried it at Kelly's Pub but we didn't go into full fledge all out orgasims...just a lil grind to see if it really felt good--and it does :). i'm not scared of anything except moths ewww they leave that dust on you. i love it when my dad says shit fire save matches or son of a buick dealer. i love that my mom's new favorite song is the Ying-Yang Twins...not cause she's tryin to be "down" but just cause she likes the song :) i love how Melo remembers what we did in kindergarden and ear muff girl. evil i come to tell you that she's evil. maybe it's how her body moves i just don't know maybe it's just the way she moves so slow. i'm a bad fish too and i love the shit out of sublime. well work days bout up and i'll come back and do it tomorrow. don't forget to say hi! i used to think Peyton Manning sucked mule cock but i've come to find he's a great football player even though i like Harrison better than him and that was back in 9th grade we grow and we learn. Charlie had to much beer and hash and ran away from home. Cindy's hamster ate the crack rock. Boink Boinking. sunshine makes me happy so does seeing naked men but don't tell anyone. i have to be done you'd think i would have run outta things to say but my brain is still full and i live with it everyday. i've cracked the windows and let some words out. |
